Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
