please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
