Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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