His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
