You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
