if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
