I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
