ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize