i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
