i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
