Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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