wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
