Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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