Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize