got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
