If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
