I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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