It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's never too late to be topless.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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