She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
