You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
