She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love having hate sex.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
