i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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