He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i've created a new STD.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
