We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
