K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
