there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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