I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
