i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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