So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
