I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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