I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
