am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i think im in europe. pls send help
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
