so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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