He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
