never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
