I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Found the puke drawer
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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