so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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