But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
