It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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