these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
