I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
even my farts smell like vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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