some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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