It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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