Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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