I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize