i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
