All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I smell like Dick and happiness
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
