I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
