did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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