I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
