The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
