I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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