my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
