This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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