Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
