And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
