i just had sex bonerless
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
