I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
