I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
