You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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