As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
